|
| 09 Aug 2007 05:51:57 pm |
 The Stress Response |
|
|
It is important to recognise that stress is an adaptive response designed to help the individual or animal cope with a short-term emergency. The fight/flight response makes us ready to cope with a life-threatening challenge with immediate action. This involves a rapid switch of priorities from long-term to short-term survival.
Biological resources are switched to systems needed for an emergency reaction. Fuel reserves are mobilized and sent to the brain and muscles; extra oxygen is taken in to burn the fuel. Blood pressure and breathing increases, leading to the heart pounding. Palms and feet get sweaty to give better grip. Blood is shunted away from the extremities, where it is not needed – hence ‘cold feet’. Energy consuming digestive processes are closed down, including the production of saliva. Concentration improves, the pupils dilate to let in more light and reaction time speeds up. If the situation becomes really life threatening, we may even vomit or defecate to make the body lighter and less appetising.
The stress response is therefore entirely normal and we have evolved to respond to stress in this way because it aids survival. Indeed, short-term stress reactions have been shown to strengthen the immune system. It is even argued that intermittent, moderate, short-term stress may have a strengthening effect on the immune system analogous to the benefit of regular exercise (Dr Paul Martin, The Sickening Mind).
Stressors do damage to our physical and psychological well-being when they are intense or chronic. A stressor has a bigger impact in proportion to its magnitude, duration and whether you feel you have control over it. For example, caregivers looking after a relative with progressive dementia still showed symptoms of stress up to 18 months after the patient died.
When we can predict a stressor it has less impact on us. For example, unexpected electric shocks were shown to depress the immune system but, when a warning is given, no effect on the immune system was found. Perceived control seems to be a vital element in how we react to stress. Other experiments show that uncontrollable stressors evoke a much greater stress response than a similar stressor to which the person feels s/he has a measure of control. This is why the elderly moving into sheltered accommodation often experience so much stress. They perceive themselves as losing control over their environment. It has also been shown that boosting a patient’s sense of control helps in the management of pain. This has particular implications for cancer patients and people suffering chronic pain.
You can contact me via www.theconsultingrooms.co.uk. Personal consultations are available in Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset which is easily accessible from Bristol, Bath and North Somerset, South Wales, Gloucestershire, Wiltshire, Dorset, and Devon. You will find me very close to the M5 junction 22 at Brent Knoll between Bridgwater and Weston-super-Mare. |
|
| |
Category : General Practice
| Posted By : consulting2 |  Comments[0] |  Trackbacks [0] |
|
|
| 22 Aug 2007 09:26:44 am |
| How to say 'No' Nicely |
|
|
“No” may be one of the shortest words in the English language, but it’s also one of the hardest to say. Most of us are brought up to try to please others, so when we’re asked to do something, it can be difficult to refuse - and almost impossible to do so without feeling guilty. However, if you constantly say yes when you really want to say no, you’re not being true to yourself and your *self-esteem will suffer - not to mention the time you’ll waste in doing things you don’t enjoy, with people you don’t necessarily like!
1. Remember these three simple steps
An effective refusal should have three simple steps
( i) acknowledge what the person wants from you
( ii) make your refusal politely but firmly
(iii) then add a sweetener, such as “Thanks for asking me” or “I’m pleased you thought of me”.
Avoid explanations and excuses if possible - they just give the other person something to argue against. You want to send the message that you’re within your rights to refuse what they’re asking and *you’re choosing to do so; elaborate justifications and apologies will only blur that message.
2. Be sparing with made-up excuses
Try not to use made-up excuses - not only is it easy to get caught out, but if you make excuses too often, the message you’re sending yourself is that you have to have an excuse to do what you want, rather than what others ask. If the person asking you a favour doesn't do it often, it probably is kinder to them and more convenient for you to offer an excuse but if someone is always taking you for granted, they’ll only stop when you develop the confidence to say no and leave it at that.
3. If you're unsure, consider delaying tactics
If you’re not sure whether you want to say yes or not, then use delaying tactics. Say you’ll give the person an answer when you’ve consulted your diary or your partner, or checked if you can get a babysitter, then refuse to discuss it further. This gives you time to decide on your reply and prepare yourself to say no if necessary.
4. Use body language to give your words more authority.
Straighten your shoulders, maintain direct eye contact, and make a conscious effort to avoid any nervous mannerisms, such as fiddling with your hair or twiddling your rings. Keep your expression pleasant but don’t smile apologetically - that suggests to the other person that your refusal isn’t firm and you’re easily persuaded out of it. If you’re talking on the phone, stand up - for some reason, it makes you feel, and therefore sound, more authoritative.
5. Use visualisation techniques to give yourself confidence.
Imagine the kind of situation where you want to say no, picturing the person you want to say it to in as much detail as possible. Now imagine yourself saying no firmly, and the other person accepting your refusal. Do this as often as possible and you’ll find it boosts your confidence when you say no for real.
6. Consider offering an alternative
If the request is reasonable, and you want to say no without antagonising the other person, offer an alternative: “I can’t work late tonight, but I could take the work home with me” or “I don’t have time to plan the Christmas party/skittles evening/annual outing this year but I do have the details from previous years which may help”.
7. The 'broken record' technique
Psychologist Gael Lindenfield recommends the “broken record” technique, where you refuse to be drawn into a discussion of your reasons and simply repeat your refusal calmly over and over again until it sinks in. For example: “Thank you for the offer, but no, I’m staying at home this weekend ....... I appreciate that you’re disappointed but I’m staying at home this weekend .... I don’t want to discuss my reasons, I’ve decided that I’m staying at home this weekend.”
8. Practice in front of a mirror!
If there’s one person or situation that always makes you cave in, then practice saying no to it/them in front of a mirror. Yes, it does sound daft (and you don’t want anyone to catch you doing it!) but hearing and seeing yourself say the magic words does actually make it easier to produce them when you need to do so.
9. Saying 'No' gets easier with practice
Remember that saying no gets easier with practice. The first time you refuse a request you’d usually have been intimidated into accepting is the most nerve-racking but once you’ve done it, it’ll never be quite so hard again.
*You might also find my blog notes on Self-esteem and Assertiveness helpful.
You can contact me via www.theconsultingrooms.co.uk. Personal consultations are available in Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset which is easily accessible from Bristol, Bath and North Somerset, South Wales, Gloucestershire, Wiltshire, Dorset, and Devon. You will find me very close to the M5 junction 22 at Brent Knoll between Bridgwater and Weston-super-Mare. |
|
| |
Category : Personal Development
| Posted By : consulting2 | Comments[0] | Trackbacks [0] |
|
| |
| 1 |
|
|
