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| 29 Jun 2007 09:14:46 pm |
 Nervous Riders in Somerset |
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Some time ago, I was invited to give a seminar for nervous riders at Stockland Lovell Manor, near Bridgwater in Somerset. There was this fantastic cross country course with inviting fences and fabulous views across Bridgwater Bay and a whole group of enthusiastic horse riders with their knees turning to jelly at even the thought of riding it! This article evolved from our work together that day and is dedicated to all those riders whose confidence ebbs and flows and whose battle with their 'nerves' seems endless.
I am not qualified to comment on the physical aspects of riding but I do have qualifications in hypnotherapy, counselling and coaching which can help me to make some sense of what happens in the rider's mind whilst riding. It’s the part that generates either your confidence or your anxieties, depending largely on how you use it!
First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling nervous on a horse. Lots of people feel nervous in situations which some riders might perceive as being much safer - think dentists, lifts, heights, motorways etc.! So resist the temptation to beat yourself up about it. Ask yourself instead whether feeling nervous actually improves your chances of survival on horseback. In most situations it does not because fear severely limits both the choice and speed of your responses. As human beings our primitive survival mechanism means that we tend to respond to danger with our own particular version of 'fight', 'flight' or 'freeze'. We all know that these sorts of responses together with innumerable variations of the foetal crouch do not actually help. So what might help?
Working within your personal comfort zone
Working within your personal comfort zone helps. Very simply there are three areas in which we can operate and they are the comfort zone, the stretch zone and the over-stretch zone. The basic principle is that we need to work mostly in the comfort zone, occasionally in the stretch zone and never in the over-stretch zone! (The same applies to your horse). In practical terms this means that if you only feel reasonably safe walking your horse in a quiet lane (they do still exist in this part of the West Country!) knowing that you could just about cope with the odd shy - do that. And keep on doing that until the odd shy seems nothing at all and one fine and sunny morning (no wind of course  ) you suddenly decide that perhaps you could trot after all. Your comfort zone has then increased to incorporate the odd shy and your stretch zone has then become a trot. In my experience, the biggest destroyer of confidence is too many stretches - too many falls, too many near misses and the next thing you know, you are over stretched and all your hard-won confidence has evaporated into the ether.
A self-fulfilling prophecy
Except that it hasn't really, its just that your subconscious mind has imprinted lots of 'negative' experiences and each time these are triggered, you feel scared and when you feel scared, you stop actually riding your horse and become a rather ineffective passenger. Its useful to think of memories like mini-films stored in your mind. Each time our senses supply information to our brain, the information is matched against our store of films primarily to ascertain whether the sum of the information equals a threat to our survival. So if you have an experience on your horse which your brain interprets as 'threatening', each time either the same or sufficiently similar information is passed to your brain it is likely to activate the 'survival response' I mentioned earlier. When you are afraid, your attention becomes very focused and it is often difficult to pay attention to anything other than the object of your fear. The combination of these factors can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Keep a tight rein on your imagination!
I think it also helps to have some understanding of how the mind works. Most authorities agree that there are basically two parts to your mind. As an Hypnotherapist I tend to think of the "conscious" mind (situated on the left side of your brain) that deals with logical, rational thought and sophisticated language and the "subconscious" mind (situated on the right side of your brain), which basically deals with all the rest! The subconscious mind understands language in images (pictures) and stores all your memories, intuitions and conditioned responses (habits?). It is also very significant that the subconscious mind has no way of differentiating between what is real and what is imagined. The conscious mind has your willpower; the subconscious mind your imagination. Imagination is much more powerful than willpower and this is important so just in case you don't believe me, I'll prove it to you!
Just imagine that I have laid a very ordinary plank (like a floorboard) on your field and I ask you to walk along it. Could you? Chances are that you could manage that quite happily. Now I take exactly the same plank and suspend it thousands of feet in the air between two skyscrapers. Are you happy to walk it now? If not, why not? It’s exactly the same plank! Because of your imagination. It would not matter how much willpower and logic you applied, in your mind's eye you would probably see yourself wobbling and falling off.
So it can be helpful to keep a check on your imagination. I know that it can be very easy to get caught up in the "what if" syndrome. Remember that your subconscious mind has no way of knowing whether the images and mini-films you are creating are real or imagined. "What if he runs out?" "What if he bolts?" "What if he bucks?" No wonder you feel scared if your horse has already bucked 20 times and then bolted off down the beach (I live in Burnham-on-Sea and we have 7 miles of sandy beach here!) - without you even getting him out of the stable. As far as your subconscious mind is concerned, the worst has just happened and your body and mind are reacting accordingly. Beware particularly of doing this sort of thing when you get "stretched" on a ride. I rode down a drove with a friend last Saturday and when we turned to retrace our tracks, the horses became quite excited. My imagination began to run riot and before I knew it, we had galloped off, jumped a six-foot gate and fallen in the rhyne (that’s what we call our drainage ditches here in Somerset). Scary or what?
Positive Future Pacing
Thankfully, the imagination works the other way around as well. I think it was Linford Christie who said that he never ran a race he had not run many times before. He meant of course that he ran it through in his mind in the way in which he hoped to run it when he competed. Hypnotherapists call this 'positive future pacing'. Muhammad Ali was a great advocate of the technique. Set yourself realistic goals and imagine yourself achieving them. Pay particular attention to the detail of what you will see, hear and feel when you get where you want to be. If you have a problem with this, experiment with riding 'as if' - you are brave, Mary King (or William Fox-Pitt!), an apparently fearless friend or whatever.
These techniques together with a lot of encouragement from my instructors and friends, have helped keep me in the saddle (literally) and keep me riding - through four riding holidays, through numerous fun rides and long-distance hacks, over the odd jump or two and in several local dressage competitions. I even rode around the cross country course at Stockland Lovel once! Magic.
I wouldn't mind betting that the overwhelming difference between you and more confident riders is only the way in which you use your mind. Enjoy your riding.
You can contact me via www.theconsultingrooms.co.uk. Personal consultations are available in Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset which is easily accessible from Bristol, Bath and North Somerset, South Wales, Gloucestershire, Wiltshire, Dorset, and Devon. You will find me very close to the M5 junction 22 at Brent Knoll between Bridgwater and Weston-super-Mare – and you don’t even need to bring your horse! |
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Category : A Mind to Ride (for Horsey persons!)
| Posted By : consulting2 |  Comments[0] |  Trackbacks [0] |
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| 21 Jun 2007 09:12:29 pm |
| Self Esteem - part 3 |
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The third and final part of my article on Self Esteem.
Self-Responsibility
The truth about life is, that when all is said and done, each of us is responsible for our own happiness. We are on a hiding to nothing if we believe that anyone else can truly bring about our own inner peace of mind. Realising this can be both transforming and utterly liberating – that is once you have come to terms with the idea!
Self Determination
If we follow any of these starting points, then the result will inevitably be growth in our sense of self worth and we will become more self-determining. By that, I don’t mean we will become more determined characters but rather that we will be more in charge of our lives, our futures and ultimately our destiny.
Self-Forgiveness
We all do need to learn to forgive ourselves on a daily basis. Nobody is perfect and who would want to be! Society’s idea of perfection is constantly changing. There is no such thing as the ‘perfect personality’ or the ‘perfect body’, ‘the perfect job’ or the ‘perfect partner’. Perfection is an illusion and to strive after it is simply daft!
Self-Permission
And so we come to self-permission. This means giving ourselves approval to feel and think freely, to genuinely start loving ourselves and to own our dreams and desires. It also means allowing ourselves to express our feelings and wishes, to actively pursue our goals and to take the risks involved.
Good luck.
This article is based on my notes taken from a lecture given to the Somerset Eating Disorders Association by Dr Alex Yellowleas.
You can contact me via www.theconsultingrooms.co.uk. Personal consultations are available in Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset which is easily accessible from Bristol, Bath and North Somerset, South Wales, Gloucestershire, Wiltshire, Dorset, and Devon. You will find me very close to the M5 junction 22 at Brent Knoll between Bridgwater and Weston-super-Mare |
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Category : Personal Development
| Posted By : consulting2 | Comments[0] | Trackbacks [0] |
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| 04 Jun 2007 04:09:17 pm |
| Self Esteem - part 2 |
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As promised, more about Self Esteem and how to get or increase it!
Self Love
People often mistake self-love for self-indulgence. No parent who truly loves their child overindulges them. But there can be no true healing without us coming to love ourselves, particularly the wounded inner child which we all carry within us.
Self Care
By this, I mean that we begin to care for our minds and our bodies in a nurturing and nourishing way. It means dressing ourselves, feeding ourselves, exercising our minds and practically taking care of ourselves in the way a good and loving parent would the child they adore.
Self Protection
A person with a poor sense of self worth is like a city without walls – open and vulnerable to attack of all kinds. Self-protection involves looking after our bodies AND our emotions. Its means guarding ourselves from disease and physical danger as well as from damaging relationships and experiences.
Self Reliance
Self-reliance is about making a commitment to becoming less dependent on others, practically and emotionally and to building up our sense of self-confidence and self-competence. It may mean learning a new skill or attending a course for example, or beginning to grow out of a childlike relationship with a parental figure.
Self Assertiveness
This can often be a difficult starting point for many of us, because at first it appears to threaten our apparent good standing with others and to risk their disapproval. It is about standing up for ourselves and our legitimate rights, as scary as that may seem. Surprising enough, others often respect and like us more as a result!
You can contact me via www.theconsultingrooms.co.uk. Personal consultations are available in Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset which is easily accessible from Bristol, Bath and North Somerset, South Wales, Gloucestershire, Wiltshire, Dorset, and Devon. You will find me very close to the M5 junction 22 at Brent Knoll between Bridgwater and Weston-super-Mare |
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Category : Personal Development
| Posted By : consulting2 | Comments[0] | Trackbacks [0] |
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